Being Childless to start with is such a epiphany.. I said to self.
To opt not to give birth is a choice.
What is the compelling need?
How many of them can actually answer when asked
'Why they really wanted or want a child'?
Most we know would have because its a social norm,
"My biological clock is ticking",
"My parents/ In-laws etc wanted us to",
"Having a child could save my failing marriage
"Our children will support us in our old age" or the most cliched" -They carry our family name further".
These are the most generic responses you would get.
No one did ask you why you gave birth to a child so why ask her "Why don't you want to have a baby"
Does anyone really care what goes behind that decision to not have one?
She may have other priorities in her life and she chose to give being a mother a backseat.
The right guy never really came (pun intended)
She may have lost a child earlier and the probability is overwhelming to lose yet another. She may have had a medical condition.
Maybe being a mother could mean risk the life which is yet to be borne.
Or simply she chooses not to have one.
Does that make her selfish or vain or any less of a woman?
We talk about giving women the right to choose her own life but are we really giving her the space when she actually does?
We sneer when she wants to live life on her own terms.
Her sensibility is questioned and she is labeled. Why smother her with how being a mother completes her as a woman? By the way wasn't it a Man, Marriage, Family which completes her?? Sigh!! Now a baby too. Give her a break!
Being a mother definitely is a beautiful feeling. But why shackle that feeling with giving birth.
Creativity too is giving birth to your thoughts, your imagination, to express yourself.
The little girl next door loves to paint. Everytime she finishes her sketch she looks at it longingly and occasionally kisses some.
That feeling of accomplishment is being a mother.
The old lady down the lane feeds the stray cats every evening, those cats gather around her and she smiles the wrinkly smile, that feeling of happiness and satisfaction is being a mother.
A child, is it necessary to be borne from me to call myself a mother? Doesn't a child of any species qualify to be considered as a child?
After thoughtful consideration with my partner we adopted a baby (Dog puppy for some) when we both were ready to extend our family. Like all parents we wanted and strive to give her our best.
She is a reflection of us and the love we share as a couple.
I fuss over her, pamper her, spoil her and discipline her when required. I have spent sleepless nights too when she has been unwell or doesn't eat. We smile, we talk, we hug and kiss & share a bond like any mother-daughter has. I can vividly describe every bit of her growing up years. I adapted my lifestyle to suit our family so that everyone fits in perfect and is happy.
Its about being a mother so I am.
Childless u may call,only because it is not a human baby..so be it.
The god of small things is very generous. We have to find our bit of happiness from her and make it big.
Happy Mother's Day to all the awesome Moms out there.
Everyone is special in her own way. Respect that.
So the next time you want to ask her Why, Ask yourself first.
Unapologetically & Unbashedly
